Day 30 - Your favorite book of all time

After a great deal of deliberation that has been going on throughout this here meme, I have settled. When I was younger it was Good Omens; then, for a long, devoted time, Catch-22. I still need to reread the latter, which may account for my lessened reverence, but regardless, I just don't remember having a reading experience like this one.

The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco

And the meme begins where it started, haha. I recently realized that I shouldn't even have answered this to the first question, because I didn't read it last year! It was this year, several months ago. So the answer to that first question would have been the His Dark Materials trilogy. But it's okay, because it means now I don't have to write about this book again. You can go back and read that post.

I'll just reiterate that the experience of reading this book was kind of like no other for me, and it was sort of breathtaking and liberating as one who isn't too good at reading books. As much as House of Leaves or The Raw Shark Texts altered my perspective toward what to expect from novels, this book still goes above them in what it did for my readerly self-esteem. It was a joy, and it was satisfying, and it filled me with inspiration and ambition. I don't believe I could ask for any more from a book.

Well, that was fun! Now back to your regularly scheduled increasingly infrequent updates.

Day 29 - A book that everybody hated but you liked

There are a few good candidates for this one, since the list includes Most Everything I Had To Read In School, with some major exceptions where I also hated them. Here, though, is the most notable and surprising example:

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Brontë

There was a trick to this one: I didn't read it in class. Because of the year I spent living in Estonia, I was not able to take the placement exams before entering high school, and didn't manage to get into the AP class until midway through the year. By that time, the class was already deep into Jane Eyre, and hating it vocally and abundantly. It seemed impractical for me to join when they were so far into it, so my teacher had me read Lord of the Flies instead, which everyone else had already done. This was a win on TWO levels, because I really loved Lord of the Flies, whereas my love may had been tempered by classwork... and, it gave me the opportunity about nine years later to finally give Jane Eyre a try.

As you may recall, I have a not-so-good relationship with Jane Austen, who is sort of on a similar playing field with Ms. Brontë, and so I didn't exactly have high hopes for this one. Ironically, the main reason I decided to finally read it was because I thought the most recent movie adaptation looked cool (AND THEN IT KIND OF WASN'T). But! to my immense surprise, I did like it. I didn't love it, but I found it engaging and enjoyable enough. The reason was twofold: first, I liked the creepy gothic horror of the whole setup, and second, I found Jane to be a stronger and more relatable character than any of Austen's brood, and while I continue to find Mr. Rochester pretty deplorable and continue to puzzle over the scores of literary women who find him somehow deeply attractive (seriously, I don't...??? did you miss the part where he is creepy and aggressive), I think Jane holds up well enough for it to be a good read.

Day 28 - Favorite title

I have several. I think there is real art to a well-crafted, meaningful title that roles pleasantly off the tongue and has just the right number of syllables. Good titles are really hard to come up with, and if they sound like poetry and make you feel feelings before you even know what the book is about (which is the basis for a lot of my favorites), well, that is an accomplishment indeed.

Here are some of my favorites, in no order, presented without explanation because more often than not there isn't one. Note that almost all of these are books I haven't read, and in many cases I don't even know what they are about. I feel like once I read a book, the title loses some of its mystery and beauty (especially if I don't like the book itself). I've italicized the ones I have read.

Good-Bye to All That, by Robert Graves
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, by Carson McCullers
100 Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Remains of the Day, by Kazuo Ishiguro
The Things They Carried, by Tim O'Brien
The Way Through Doors, by Jesse Ball
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, by James Joyce
The City & The City, by China Mieville (currently reading)
Man on the Threshold, short story by Jorge Luis Borges*
John Dies at the End, by David Wong
If on a winter's night a traveler, by Italo Calvino
Catch-22, by Joseph Heller


*if I had the time/inclination, I could list a ton of Borges titles, but I'll stick with just this one as it is my favorite (though not, interestingly, one of my favorite of his stories; I don't even remember what it's about!)

Day 27 - The most surprising plot twist or ending

The Raw Shark Texts, by Steven Hall

This book is actually nothing but crazy plot twists. It's a whole pile of THE PLOT (or rather THE CONCEPT) THICKENS, and I remember just sort of constantly being in a state of "WHAAAAAT?"

And that's all I'm gonna say! Man, this question. Even alluding to a surprising twist ending has the potential to ruin it, you know!!

Day 26 - A book that changed your opinion about something

Another hard one. I don't know that a book has ever changed my opinion about anything, not in the way I think this question means. Which is probably another sign that I don't read enough and don't look adventurously enough for books outside my comfort zone. I have a lot of catching up to do. But here's the best thing I can think of:

Twelfth Night, by William Shakespeare

This play changed my opinion about... Shakespeare! Haha. That feels like cheating. But it's true. Prior to this play, I'd only read the standard school curriculum fare, and it wasn't doing much for me. I liked Shakespeare sort of because I knew I had to, but I didn't feel a real fondness until I went to college and read this. This play is FUN and not incredibly difficult to follow for a newbie with the language, and it's got cross-dressing and an arguably gay pirate (totally gay pirate). I remember reading it in my dorm and laughing and suddenly realizing that I was laughing at these jokes written in Shakespeare English, and I was so pleased with myself. And suddenly the floodgates were open: I could appreciate just about any of his plays, and the ones I didn't like after that were just... the ones I didn't like! As opposed to didn't get.

So, thanks Twelfth Night! Someday I'll write a movie sequel to you where the apparent happy ending falls apart very quickly, because that is what would happen.

Day 25 - A character who you can relate to the most

This question is bugging me. I've been letting it sit for hours (literally! hours!) and have not come up with any answer that I like reasonably enough. Is the issue that I am taking this too seriously or that I don't relate to characters deeply enough to just be like "oh that's the one I can relate to the MOST"?? I ... don't know.

I'm going to say Holden Caulfield, because while I don't agree with anything he says and have never really felt the way he feels, I get him. And I love him.

I'll do better on tomorrow's question.

Day 24 - A book that you wish more people would've read

Another weird question in that I have no real way of knowing what books are specifically neglected, and also the phrasing carries a vague implication of "because they would have been better for it" - which, I'm sure I could think of one like that, but I'd rather just go with something that I like that I want more people to know about. And I just haven't met a whole lot of people who've even heard of this book, though I know they're out there. So:

The Raw Shark Texts, by Steven Hall

This book is so baller. One of the best things about it in my opinion are the little snippets of reviews that plaster the inside cover, on this pictured edition anyway. Read them! Read them all! They are great. If I had my copy on me I would quote them for you. Curse my being away from home, again.

But here is why they are all great: almost all of them feel compelled to compare this work to three other things. Some of them choose authors like Borges (YEAHHH), Melville, Kafka, Pynchon, Murakami... is that Douglas Adams I see there on that little picture??? It IS. Weird! I don't remember that being on and furthermore I can't even figure out what that guy is talking about? But okay. Others go after specifics works, like I think maybe Alice in Wonderland makes the list, but mostly it's not so much books as it is MOVIES. Which might be weird and dubious to other people, but to me is kind of a good sign and also what makes these little blurbs very interesting. I recall movies such as The Matrix (yes) and Memento (so much yes that I was actually extremely suspicious during the first few chapters that this whole book was just ripping off Memento but boy was I wrong)... but here's the fun part! THEY ALL MENTION JAWS.

An inordinately high number of these review excerpts talk about Jaws. Why??? Doesn't that seem kind of strange? Sure this is a book that appears to be about a shark, but is Jaws the only thing we can think of that has a shark in it?! But as it turns out, that's kind of the whole point?

You may notice that I have now spent three paragraphs talking about the review excerpts on this book and not the book itself. I promise you there is a good reason, which is this: you shouldn't really know anything about this book before going in. I bought it at the insistence of a friend, who refused to tell me anything about it, only that I would like it. Bewildered and somewhat frustrated, I studied the blurb on the back (unhelpful) and the review excerpts inside, at which point I became OVERCOME WITH CURIOSITY. Look at all those fancy authors! And so many mentions of Jaws? WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THAT YOU GUYS

Well the answer to that mystery, which might only have been interesting to me, is buried deep within the pages of this totally fascinating wonderful book. After I finished it, I wrote the author a message on Facebook, and he actually responded and we had a little bit of a conversation. Friendly guy! I remember telling him that this was something I wish I'd written. It's very much an elegantly synthesized clusterfuck of all the neat stuff whirling around in my brain waiting to be made into a story so brilliant. Goddammit, I reserve all my best jealousy for people who are capable of doing that very thing.

Also, this book made me REALLY AFRAID of the clanking of my radiator for a little while.

Also, my girlfriend read it right after me over like a three day period or maybe less, and during that time she started announcing her theories to me as she was reading, which sounds annoying but totally wasn't because she was right constantly. That actually also sounds annoying, but it still wasn't. This book is way out there on the field of imagination, and I don't know how she is so smart and so aligned with Mr. Hall's wild ideas that she was just on the ball again and again? I wrote him again while she was reading and told him where she was in the story and gave him a list of all the things she had been saying to me. And he wrote back saying something like "Whaaaaaaat! She is awesome!" and I was like "Dude, I know."

It wasn't exactly like that, but man, that conversation is buried deep within Facebook's grim underbelly, so that is CLOSE ENOUGH.

Anyway, READ THIS BOOK IT IS AMAZING.

Day 23 - A book you wanted to read for a long time but still haven't

Foucault's Pendulum, by Umberto Eco

I have wanted to read this for years, well before I even considered reading The Name of the Rose. I gave it a couple false starts and chickened out, intimidated by how insanely complex it is purported to be. This ain't your aunt's Dan Brown bullshit. I kept thinking, gotta put it off, wait until you're smarter. I knew it was probably gonna require a lot of research, and I fully intend to keep a notebook handy while reading it so I can write down whatever I want/need to look up. Now that I've read The Name of the Rose and loved it so damn much, I think the time for this one is fast approaching. I'M READY. Haha probably not. BUT WHATEVER I am excited about it.

I just want to read all the Eco. ALL OF IT.

Plus this book is about secret societies and the SEPHIROT and I am ABOUT THAT.

As for the Foucualt Pendulum itself, CHECK IT OUT IT'S REALLY COOL.

CAPS

Day 22 - Favorite book you own

I.... what? What kind of question is this? How does this differ from "favorite book altogether"? Is the assumption that you wouldn't own your favorite book of all time? I mean, that is possible, but also possibly unlikely???

Whatever, sorry to keep harping on these questions, guys, it is obviously something of a fixation for me for some reason.

Okay, going with a strictly literal definition...

House of Leaves, by Mark Z. Danielewski

Hah! Here it is again, just after I slipped it somewhere it didn't quite fit. Welp. If we take this question to mean "favorite book to own," there can be no other. This is a book that deserves being looked at again and again, studied just for the fun of it, reread because there is so much going on, or just opened to a random page and shown to incredulous friends. I love owning this book. So yes, of the books I own, this one has come through for me most often. I think that's an acceptable answer to a slightly redundant question, yes?

Day 21 - Favorite book from your childhood

The Moorchild, by Eloise McGraw

Without question. My dad read me this book, and he and I both retained a lot of feelings about it. It's been a long time since I thought about it, and I really only remembered it now because I had to pack it up to move to a new city. It was one of the books I chose to put in the little ship-to-me-immediately box. It was just so lovely. It's about a changeling swapped for a human baby, who grows up human and just doesn't fit in no matter how hard she tries, and her parents love her in spite of everything, and it's this whole myth turned story about a misfit. It's so sweet and poignant and I just loved it. I want to read it again right away!!

This cover was the original cover I owned, and I adore it, I think the art is so charming and strange and perfect. But that copy was left out in the rain and got wrecked, and we had to get a new one with a different cover that was far less superior. I think it's high time to seek out the old cover and get that copy again. Because it matters to me. Haha.

Day 20 - Favorite romance book

I don't really read romance books. And I could probably come up with a book that had a significant enough amount of romance that it would count, but that's boooring. Fuck tha police.

House of Leaves, by Mark Z. Danielewski

This had to be on here sooner or later. I'm not even gonna try to explain it because it's unexplainable (furthermore I've already tried here). I'm just gonna leave you with this quote from the author.

"I had one woman come up to me in a bookstore and say, 'You know, everyone told me it was a horror book, but when I finished it, I realized that it was a love story.' And she's absolutely right. In some ways, genre is a marketing tool." (source)

Day 19 - Favorite book turned into a movie

What an ambiguous question! The way it is worded it could easily mean it wants to know your favorite book that just also happened to be turned into a movie, but doesn't care about what you thought of said movie.

I am pretty sure that's not what it means. But a clearer way to phrase it would have been "favorite movie adapted from a book", guys. Clarity!

Although I will grant you that movie adaptations are complicated territory, and it might be more about a book that was dear to you and turned into a movie, and just your general thoughts on that. But in that case the word "favorite" becomes weird. In general this is a weird question.

Anyway.

The actual answer to this question is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, which I think is the most successful adapation around, but I already cheated once with comics, so I'm gonna do a legit book this time. And in fact I'm gonna go with a book AND movie that I have already mentioned.

Maurice, by E. M. Forster, adapted by Ismail Merchant & James Ivory

Merchant-Ivory, as they are called, are pretty brilliant in general with their Forster adaptations, of which they did three. This one is easily the best one, and not because I suspect it is also the best book of the three (though I admit I have not read any other Forster yet). It loses some things, of course, but enhances others, and I think it was played with a great subtle honesty that captures the real essence of the book. This is an empowering movie for gay men, which is a rare bird indeed, and it is sexy as hell, and it was made in goddamn 1987 featuring a very young and smooth-faced Hugh Grant, and an unbelievably gorgeous tinykins Rupert Graves (pictured, left). Also James Wilby (pictured, right), but most people don't know who he is on account of his not appearing in A) every romantic comedy ever B) an outrageously popular BBC miniseries.

True story: I once read a review of this movie on Amazon dot com from a woman who said that before she saw this movie, she had a low opinion of homosexuals and had no idea that their love could be meaningful/real. She claimed with fairly heartfelt words that this movie legitimately changed her perspective. If that's not success I don't know what is.

Day 18 - A book that disappointed you

Well. My answer is probably going to seem unfortunate.

The Graveyard Book, by Neil Gaiman

I'm sorry, guys, I know Neil is everyone's favorite and I love him too, but there is just no better book I can think of that truly fits this question. Being that Neil is great, I expect to love all his books, but sadly this is sometimes just not the case. I found this one to be ... well ... boring!

That's all I have to say about it, really...!

Day 17 - Favorite quote from your favorite book

Naturally this one comes when I'm on a day trip away from all my books that I could possibly use for reference. On top of that, I have a few. I think I really should have more than one anyway because I notice the last question of this meme is "favorite book ever" and wouldn't it kind of ruin the surprise if you just gave that away now? So, I have options and I don't have any of them on me. Bear with me, interwebs.

The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco

"Non in commotione, non in commotione Dominus."

I cannot give context for this quote and you simply must read the book. The translations vary. I have only just discovered that the "official" translation is quite different from the one I cobbled together from Latin translators online. And undoubtedly it is the "correct" one. I put these words in quotes because I really like my version. It means something totally different, but it made a huge impact on me and I thought it was so perfect for what was happening in the story. Given the nature of the thing, I feel as though an argument can be made for the validity of my unofficial translation, being that language is complex, words can mean many things, and subjectivity is crucial to appreciating a work. I don't know if my translation is at all grammatically viable, but I hope it is, because I like it.

Catch-22, by Joseph Heller

"Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?"

This is something that is, I believe, repeated a few times, though I primarily recall the first time. I love that it doesn't make any sense, not for the longest time, and I love that it is somehow beautiful and haunting just the same, despite the inherent silliness of the surrounding scene. This quote stuck in me like a pin for the duration of the book. It is iconic, and not without reason.

Also iconic, also beloved, also wonderful and silly at the same time:

It was love at first sight. The first time Yossarian saw the chaplain, he fell madly in love with him.

Finally, though I could quote the entire book if I had the means, I am also fond, for simpler reasons, of this bit:

"Yes, Yossarian. That's right. Yossarian. Yossarian? Is that his name? Yossarian? What the hell kind of name is Yossarian?"

Lieutenant Scheisskopf had the facts at his finger tips. "It's Yossarian's name, sir," he explained.

The Collected Works of Jorge Luis Borges

It is probably a good thing that I don't have this volume on me, because there are so many. Here are several, presented without comment:

Siento un poco de vértigo. / No estoy acostumbrado a la eternidad.
I feel a bit of vertigo. / I am not accustomed to eternity.
-The Cipher (a poem)

I come now to the ineffable center of my tale; it is here that a writer’s hopelessness begins. Every language is an alphabet of symbols the employment of which assumes a past shared by its interlocutors. How can one transmit to others the infinite Aleph, which my timorous memory can scarcely contain? [...] And besides, the central problem—the enumeration, even partial enumeration, of infinity—is irresolvable. In that unbounded moment, I saw millions of delightful and horrible acts; none amazed me so much as the fact that all occupied the same point, without superposition and without transparency. What my eyes saw was simultaneous; what I shall write is successive, because language is successive. Something of it, though, I will capture.
-The Aleph

And yet, and yet … Denying temporal succession, denying the self, denying the astronomical universe, are apparent desperations and secret consolations. Our destiny is not frightful by being unreal; it is frightful because it is irreversible and iron-clad. Time is the substance I am made of. Time is a river which sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger which destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire which consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, unfortunately, is real; I, unfortunately, am Borges.
-A New Refutation of Time (an essay)

What will my redeemer be like, I wonder? Will he be bull or man? Will he perhaps be a bull with the face of a man? Or will he be like me?
-The House of Asterion

Day 16 - Favorite female character

Is a graphic novel cheating? If it is I don't care. Because it's this lady, without a doubt.

355, from Brian K. Vaughan's Y: The Last Man

355 is the baddest babe around. She is tough as nails and smart and sassy and she has a horrifying fucked up past and she isn't afraid of anything and she's sexy as HELL and I could give specifics but if you ain't read these comics it would be better to just read them, and if you have read them then you know what I'm talking about.

God I love her, I love her so much. She's cooler than anyone. She's my spirit guide.

And an honorable mention from a "real" book, because you can't have Will without her:

Lyra, from Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy

Lyra is also a total badass and smart and sassy and not afraid of anything, except when she is, and she's capable of such wonderful tenderness also, and oh god how does Pullman get little girls so well, I just, I can't.

Lyra will always remind me deeply of my best friend, who is also blond and small and fierce and loves cats.

Day 15 - Favorite male character

Holy buckets this is hard. There are so many choices.

Okay, here's a tie. These characters are hella different, so... that's fair, right?

Yossarian, from Joseph Heller's Catch-22

Yossarian is the shit. Catch-22 really should have been my "Favorite Classic Book," but I guess I wasn't sure about its "classic" status in comparison with Catcher. But whatever. I read Catch-22 when I was sixteen/seventeen, just because I FELT LIKE IT. Which was pretty empowering, for someone who didn't read a whole lot outside of class! But I loved it so so so much. I remember sitting around in school and reading it constantly. It was so great. The humor of the writing mixed with the tragedy of the story, so great. And above all, the characters all so colorful and weird and wonderful/horrible. I haven't read the book since then, but I've always meant to reread, and I always think back fondly on it. Yossarian succeeds in being so human and so ridiculous at the same time. Somehow he is the ultimate hero even though he defies everything that makes a hero. I don't know, it's been a long time and it's hard to explain. But I love him. He will forever be the imaginary absurdist rebel hottie of my heart.

Also! Not about Yossarian per se, but this book taught me many important things. Like the word "subversive"! How to make absurdist circles of dialogue! And how to do a fucking soul-shattering reveal with just the right kind of buildup that it destroys you and drastically alters your understanding of everything leading up to it.

That scene.... that scene. Guh.

And:

Will, from Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy

These books, also, should have been on the list already. They could have been both the book(s) that makes me happy AND the book(s) that makes me sad. They could have been my favorite series. I don't know how I forgot them until now. Because I have a LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THEM.

I didn't expect to like Will. I first read The Golden Compass in 2002 or so, and loved every minute of it, but for some reason when I started The Subtle Knife I didn't get past the first couple chapters. I was just like, man, who is this Will guy and why should I care about him?? More Lyra please! Which is understandable I guess, but WILL IS AMAZING OKAY. I finally finally read these books properly last year, and I just about died, and I couldn't deal with how much I loved Will. I am finding it difficult to talk about characters without just talking about the books. Hmmm.

Welp, SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS if you haven't read these books SKIP THIS PARAGRAPH:

I think what sealed the deal for me was Will losing his fingers. I am realizing that I have a HUGE literary kink for physical sacrifice/body transformation in the name of like... acquiring a new ability/maturing. That's such a weird and specific literary kink, and hard to explain, and hard to think of any other examples!! I guess a prime example would be mythology's Odin, trading an eye for knowledge. Fuck yes. And how Will dealt with the trauma of that experience, and his total badassery with the knife, and the evolution of his relationship with Lyra... oh god, those books were so perfect, and I can't go on or I'll start crying again.

Anyway, yes. If you haven't read either of these books, I highly highly recommend you seek them out.

Day 14 - Favorite book of your favorite writer

Collected Fictions

Borges didn't write books, as I mentioned. He only wrote stories.

Here are some of my favorites. Boldface are the ones that are super close to my heart.

The Circular Ruins (from Ficciones)
An Examination of the Works of Herbert Quain (from Ficciones)
The Library of Babel (from Ficciones)
The Garden of Forking Paths (from Ficciones)
Funes, the Memorious (from Ficciones)
The Shape of the Sword (from Ficciones)
Death and the Compass (from Ficciones)
The Secret Miracle (from Ficciones)
The House of Asterion (from The Aleph)
The Zahir (from The Aleph)
The Writing of God (from The Aleph)
The Aleph (from The Aleph)
Dreamtigers (from The Maker)
A Dialog About a Dialog (from The Maker)
The Yellow Rose (from The Maker)
Parable of the Palace (from The Maker)
Everything and Nothing (from The Maker)
Borges and I (from The Maker)
The Other (from The Book of Sand)
There Are More Things (from The Book of Sand)
The Book of Sand (from The Book of Sand)
August 25, 1983 (from Shakespeare's Memory)
Blue Tigers (from Shakespeare's Memory)
The Rose of Paracelsus (from Shakespeare's Memory)
Shakespeare's Memory (from Shakespeare's Memory)

Get on it, everybody.

Day 13 - Your favorite writer

Jorge Luis Borges


Borges basically founded the magical realism movement. Wikipedia says that the term was used for the very first time to describe one of his earliest works. So there you go.

Borges never wrote a novel. He wrote poetry, essays, and short stories. He wrote short stories about longer stories. He wrote critical assessments of fake novels so that he could get his kicks writing about how cool the concept was without having to write the novel (because he did not believe in himself enough to sit down at write one).

Borges started losing his eyesight in his fifties, and was almost completely blind by the end of his life. He had people read to him. He wrote some magnificent words about blindness. My favorite:

"Blindness is not darkness; it is a form of solitude."

I was introduced to Borges in a math class, of all places. At Sarah Lawrence, almost no one wanted to take math, so the faculty often had to come up with clever outside-the-box classes that would appeal to artistic types. The course was called Mathematics & Jorge Luis Borges, and I had never heard of him, but it seemed really interesting to me, so I took it. We read a ton of his stories and some poems and a few essays, and we talked about his use of mathematical concepts and related it to some seriously interesting theory. That class was formative as fuck. It was like I had found what I never knew I had been looking for, and I suddenly finally knew what I wanted to do with fiction.

Borges wrote about legends and myths and history and literary theory, and he wrote a detective story and stories about books. He utilized the concept of infinity in ways that I will never stop trying to imitate. If you've never read anything by Borges, go find yourself a copy of The Aleph, and read the title piece. Then read some others. Then find some other collections.

Anthony Kerrigan is generally regarded as the best translator. I have full collected works translated by Andrew Hurley, which is passable. I can't speak to the others. Mostly, reading Borges makes me wish I could read in Spanish, because if his work is so unbelievably beautiful in this decidedly unmusical language, I can't even imagine how amazing it must be in the original form.

This has been a public service announcement.

Day 12 - A book you used to love but don't anymore

This sorta feels like all kinds of blasphemy, but here goes:

The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien

Ahhh, I know, right? But it's true. I read these books around the time the movies were coming out, and was just goddamn obsessed with the whole thing for ages and ages. And now a lot of time has passed and it has been a while and I realized that I am so unattached to my beautiful Alan Lee illustrated boxed set that I am strongly considering selling them for much-needed money. That's where we're at. I dunno what happened, really... I think once the thirteen/fourteen/fifteen-year old obsession faded and I stepped back a bit, I realized I didn't have any desire to reread them, and didn't retain the deep fondness I used to feel. Maybe I just grew out of high fantasy... so full of long, rambling descriptions and deep chunks of history and white dudes. Which is funny because that is all exactly what The Name of the Rose is filled with. But somehow it's different. I still like fantasy, but not as much as I used to, and not in the same way. Lord of the Rings was great for the time in my life that I loved it, but now I need my fantasy darker, grittier, more stimulating and more diverse of cast. Ahahaha good luck with that one, right? Well, that's why I write books.

Day 11 - A book you hated

The Angel's Game, by Carlos Ruiz Zafón

I read this book immediately after reading Zafón's better known work The Shadow of the Wind, which was quite good and somewhat Borgesian and made me want more. They are actually set in the same world and approximately the same timeline; this book is set several years earlier.

I had a singularly bizarre reading experience with this one. I read it almost entirely (or perhaps straight-up entirely) in one day. This is utterly unheard of for me. I just couldn't put it down. I was totally fascinated and it felt very appropriate for me at that time (it is about a struggling writer) and it was spooky and atmospheric and all that good stuff.

And then, suddenly and inobtrusively, it turned on me.

I think it started to go bad before I even realized it. Thinking back on it now, though it is largely a blur, there was some stuff happening that I was on board with at the time, before I started getting a bad feeling, which later became awful and frustrating as I realized none of it had made any sense, and that my trust in the author's willingness to tie it all together was in vain. This book scared me, and not in a way I enjoyed. It scared me in a way that kind of messed me up for a few days, and I would be really hard-pressed to explain why. It was dark, but no darker than some other stuff I've read. Something about it just really started to rub me the wrong way, until before I knew it I hated the protagonist, and the direction the story was going, and the way that every idea I had about the plot was turning out to be wrong, leaving me feeling disoriented and betrayed. All that may not be enough to ascribe so strong a word as hate, but that isn't the end.

Though I did my best to blot this book from my memory immediately after reading it, I do recall that the end of this book was a fucking nightmare. There's no way to explain without spoiling it, so, if you have any reason to believe you might read this and feel differently, skip over the next paragraph.

So as I recall, this totally batshit emotionally manipulative asshole of a protagonist (and none of that in a fun, exciting, relatable way, if you ask me) has this woman that he's just obsessed with, and when he loses her somehow he sinks into deep depression, which is all pretty interesting except she keeps coming back and like, she's in an asylum, and then she winds up DEAD SOMEHOW (???) but he still can't forget her (maybe it was me getting tired of reading about heterosexuals, but oh my god, I was so bored by this) and then after all this other weird shit goes down and the book crashes to a chaotic, upsetting halt, there's this incredibly strange epilogue type thing where... as an older, tired, regret-filled man, he comes into the care of a young girl, who he somehow knows to be his fucking beloved. So like, the book ends with him in his sixties taking care of an eleven year old version of his girlfriend. UMMMMMMM if that doesn't sound like some whacked out Twilight bullshit to you, then I can't help you. I for one was profoundly put off by this ending and it made me reevaluate everything that had happened and in general I felt like the whole thing had been a huge waste.

This book was weird. I know a lot of people have enjoyed it and I guess there are reasons to defend it. But of all the books I haven't enjoyed or have found boring or have failed to connect with, this is the only one that jumps to mind when I think of "hate." Yuck.